Rev. Bentley Anderson (first story ever on BDG, OCT. 2005)

It was the fall on 1996.  Myself, Adam, and Tai were visiting Bub at his bucolic catholic college, BC. 

The name on the door directly across the hall from bub’s read REVEREND BENTLEY ANDERSON.  Bub explained to me at BC instead of RA”S living in the dorm’s with students, they have priests, or men studying to be priests.  As weird as this sounded to me, it also kinda made sense….kinda.

Later in the afternoon I excused myself to walk down the hall and use the bathroom.  On my way back I glanced at the name on the door: REVEREND BENTLEY ANDERSON. I don’t know what came over me but i began rapping on bub’s door and in my best British accent, ( to me the name Bentley Anderson sounded British) think jimmy Stewart meets Simon cowell I said “Brian, Brian, this is the Reverend Bentley Anderson, please let me in…I want to see your firm buttocks”  I walked into Brian’s room and Adam, Tai,along with bub were laughing hysterically.  That’s all I needed to see. 

For the rest of the weekend, every time I would leave the room and return I would rap on the door and in my little ole accent I would spew some derogatory catholic remark: “Brian, this is Reverend Bentley Anderson again, please come into my room at midnight, I want to show you something….Please” 

Every time I returned to the room the guys were in hysterics.  I suppose every thing’s funnier when you’re away from home, eating crappy pizza, drinking natty light and watching porn.  Then on the 4Th day everything changed

I was on my way back into Brian’s room after completing another one of  my homoerotic priest impressions through the door.  I walked into the room.  Adam and Brian were laughing but I sensed the joke was getting old. I suppose it was.  I decided to dive into bub’s roomies stack of Playboys.  Just then there was a knock at the door.  The hair on the back of my neck stood up.  I knew this just wasn’t good.  Brian let out sigh and went to the door.  He peeped through the peephole.

“Shit it’s Bentley” 

“Who” Adam asked?  Not fully comprehending the significance of the visitor. 

“Adam” i said, “That’s the guy I’ve been imitating all weekend.”

Brian slowly opened the door, I jumped into the closet, hidden from view.  But not before catching a glimpse of this “Reverend”

He kinda looked like Anthony Edwards from ER, not the Priest from the Exorcist that I had in visioned.

“How’s it going” bub said, as casually as I’ve ever heard him say anything. 

Reverend Bentley had just one thing to say, and he said it verly calmly with only a hint of anger: “Tell your Asshole friend, with the fake British accent to knock it off”

“OK” Brian said quietly, and he closed the door.

Sorry” I said. 

 Brian looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and spoke

“Well, I guess I caBrian n’t have dinner with him ever again” 

We were about to resume business as usual when another knock came at the door, then a voice, a horrible attempt at a British accent said: “Brian, Brian, come into the shower, I dropped my soap”  But this isn’t the man I just heard speak it was someone different.  It was Tai, who missed the whole thing cuz he was dropping a deuce. 

Brian’s face turned bright red, he rushed to the door flung it open nearly scaring Tai half to death. ( i think he may of dropped his 2ND deuce in 10 minutes)

Brian grabbed tai and pulled him into the room

“Jesus Christ Tai, I have dinner with that guy” 

“Gees dude, sorry, you let Gouda do it all weekend, I try it once and you flip out on me.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: