This past Wednesday Aidan and I attended a screening of the new Disney flick Bridge To Terabithia.  Aidan enjoyed the film thoroughly except for the very end when the female lead drown and I had to explain to him that she was in Heaven. 

Aidan has seen many movies where spiders die of old age, animals are killed by other animals, and bugs get stepped on.  However he’s never experienced the death of another human on the big screen, so this was a bit of a shock to his little system.

But, thanks to his Uncle Walt, as Aidan grows up and thinks of the film Bridge To Terabithia, he wont be reminded of the cute little blond who fell in a river and died.  He’ll most likely remember what his fresh Uncle Walt did to him in the middle of the film.

We were the only one’s sitting in the theater.  It was 4:30 in the afternoon in the middle of the week so I didn’t expect it to be crowded.  Besides, Aidan thinks it’s cool when we have the whole movie house to ourselves.

Midway through the film I leaned toward Aidan and said, “Hey buddy, I gotta go to the bathroom.  Do you want to come with me or do you want to wait here and watch?”  Without even looking in my direction Aidan responded with “I’ll wait here”.  Just as I’d expected.

“Okay, you be good, and I’ll be right back”  And I got up to leave.  Now before all you Moms out there get your panties up in a bunch and report me to DCF, let me just say, I had NO intention of leaving Aidan alone in an empty movie theater.  I had other plans.  More sinister plans.

I casually got up and walked to the back of the theater.  I waited a moment to see if Aidan was going to get up, run around, and cause trouble.  He did not.  He sat still, completely mesmerized by the world of Terabithia.

I quietly walked down a row of seats so I was on the opposite side of the theater from where Aidan was sitting.  I slowly crept down the isle.  Just as I approached Aidan’s row I got down on to my hands and knees and made my way into the row of seats directly in front of him.

I slowly crawled down the empty row.  As I did I thought to myself that some people who knew about this might think I’m a little loony, and hey, when it comes to this sort of stuff, maybe I am.

As I got close to where Aidan was sitting I peered through the spaces between the seats to make sure he didn’t see me.  Nope, his eyes were still locked on that screen.  I inched my way forward until I was positioned directly in front of the seat where Aidan was watching from.  At this point it was hard to hold in my own laughter.  And then I did it:

I sprung up as fast as I could.  I threw my arms up in the air, flailed them wildly, and yelled “BRIDGE TO TERABITHIAAAAAA!”

Aidan instantly took his eyes away from the screen and looked at me directly.  ( he really didn’t have a choice since I was completely blocking his view ) I watched as his hands dug into the arms of the seat.  His little eyes opened as wide as saucers.  He frowned so deep it looked as though his face was going to get stuck that way.

After about 3 seconds of what I’m sure can only be called “Shear Terror”  Aidan smiled.  I began laughing hysterically.  In his 5yrs of knowing me I don’t think he’s ever seen me laugh so hard.  I made my way back into my seat, laughing as I went.

“That wasn’t very funny Uncle Walt”  Aidan said smiling.

“I know.  I’m sorry buddy, but I couldn’t resist.”

I’m sure such an unexpected fright could of ruined his day or at least caused a 5yr old to start crying and asking for his mother.  However, because I was laughing so hard myself, I think it took Aidan’s mind off how scared he really had been.

Periodically through the rest of the film Aidan would grab my arm and say “BOO!”  Trying to get me back I suppose.  I tried my hardest to act scared everytime. 

Ever few minutes until the end of the movie I’d think about what I’d done and start laughing all over again.  When Aidan would get wind of it he’d look over at me.  I’d bite my lip.  I didn’t want him to know what a kick I’d gotten out of scaring the poor guy.

As I went to bed that night I thought how scared I would of been if someone had done that to me.  And I’m 29 years old.  I’m not gonna lie, there is the chance I could of had a heart attack or at least crapped my pants.

Hmm, maybe Aidan did lose controls of his bowels and was too embarrassed to tell me.  I’ll have to ask Keely about that one.


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