Clearly The Force Was NOT With Me

(editors note)While this story may make sense to anyone and everyone who reads it, I believe it can only truly be appreciated by Star Wars Fans….all six billion of them.


Tonight, as Aidan and I waited for Keely to finish cooking us dinner we decided to play a game: WHO AM I? THE STAR WARS VERSION.

The rules were simple. Each of us would write the name of a popular Star Wars character on a piece of paper, fold it up, and give it to the other person. Then we were allowed to ask 10 questions about the identity of the mystery character folded up on the piece of paper. They didn’t have to be YES or No questions. They could be anything. After 10 questions, you’d have to guess who was written on your piece of paper.

As soon as we went over the rules we got to writing.  I thought for a moment and then wrote down Jabba The Hut on my paper. As I folded it up and passed it to Aidan his paper was already folded and resting before me.

Aidan went first:

AIDAN: Is my character a Jedi or a Sith?

ME: Neither.

AIDAN: Is my character a man, robot or creature?

These are great questions I thought.

ME: Creature

AIDAN: Is he good or bad?

ME: Bad

AIDAN: I’d like to guess early.

ME: Really? You have still have five more questions.

AIDAN: Yeah, but I know it.

Sure enough, Aidan spouted out the correct answer:  Jabba The Hut.

Now it was my turn. I decided to steal Aidan’s line of questions. Surely I would guess his in at least five. I mean, it only took him two seconds to come up with it, so I’d assumed he’d written Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker or Han Solo.

ME: Is he a Jedi or a Sith?

AIDAN: Neither

ME: Is he a person, robot or creature?

AIDAN: Creature.

Instantly I thought that Aidan possibly could have also written down Jabba The Hut but had that been the case he probably would have given it away when he realized that my character had been Jabba. So I ruled that out.

ME: Is he bad or good?


Just to make sure it wasn’t Jabba

ME: Is my creature the same as your creature.

AIDAN: (giving me a stern look) Uh, No.

ME: What movie did this creature make his first appearance?

AIDAN: I’m pretty sure it was Return of The Jedi.

I still think Jabba The Hut is written on my paper. But I don’t say anything. Then, I think Aidan could have picked an EWOK, while technically good guys, they started off kind of bad.

ME: Does this creature look like a little bear.

AIDAN: (once again the stern look) Uh, no not at all.

Bang! Then it hit me. I knew it. It was The Rancor! The creature that lived below Jabba’s Palace. I was certain my next question would lock it up.

ME: Was the creature crushed to death by a giant gate

AIDAN: Nope! That’s 8 questions Uncle Walt. You only have two more.

Truth be told I was getting a bit frustrated. I was thinking he was not answering the questions to the best of his knowledge. But I decided to work with what I had. A creature. A bad guy. Appeared in Jedi. It wasn’t Jabba, The Rancor or an Ewok.

Bang! I had it finally. It was one of Jabba’s Green Pig Guards. But Just to be sure.

ME: Did the creature wear a guard’s uniform?

AIDAN (laughing) Nope! Only one more question!

Okay. Now I was sure Aidan wasn’t playing fair. He wanted to win the game so bad he was lying about the questions to throw me off the trail. I had thought of all the “bad”  creatures from Jedi. The Rancor, The Ewoks, The Pig Soldiers. What was left?

Could it possibly be that thing inside Jabba’s palace with the tentacle on it’s head. The half man, half  squid man? Does that guy even have a name? Or maybe it was the little buzzard guy from Jabba’s palace that pecked out C-3PO’s eyes. Yep, it had to be one of those two and I’m sure Aidan just wrote some weird description of them on his paper. So, to distinguish between Squid Man and Buzzard I had one last question.

ME: Did this creature peck C-3PO’s eyes out?

AIDAN: Nope. That’s 10 Uncle Walt! You have to guess.

ME: I’m thinking the guy from Jabba’s Palace with the tentacle on his head.

AIDAN:(looking at me like I was crazy) Who?

ME: Jabba’s assistant. (I would later find out, from one of Aidan’s books this guy I was referring to is named Bib Fortuna)

AIDAN: No, it’s not him……whoever you mean. You lose Uncle Walt. Open your paper.

So, as I unfolded my paper I fully expected it to say Jabba The Hutt or some random Star Wars creature, like “little brown thing walking across the dessert half way through the movie.”

But…I was wrong.  And couldn’t have felt more stupid when I read what 8 year old Aidan had written on his paper.


I laughed out loud. Of course.  Sarlaac! One of the best creatures in the history of Star Wars.

I was both impressed that Aidan had chosen the Sarlaac as his character and not the obvious like Solo or Vader and at the same time was frustrated that I was too naive to guess it. Naive or stupid.

As I’ve always known about the young Padawan: The Force is most definitely strong in that one.


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