My dog did this and my dog did that and then….

If nothing else, adopting Andy the Puggle has given me a new subject to write about when my mind is otherwise blank…like today.

 Andy has got me outside at least twice a day. While some may not believe me, I am being truthful when I say I’ve walked him at least once every day since he came to live with me in November. And most days, I walk him twice.

One thing I noticed right off the bat as Andy an I began our walking tradition is his idiosyncracies when it comes to doing his business.

As far as peeing is concerned he will make water anywhere. He pees on trees, bushes, rocks, street signs, tires, snowbanks, curbs, little mounds of dirt, big mounds of dirt and basically anything else he passes along our walks.

After the first few days when Keely, his former owner, asked how things were going, I said, “Fine, except Andy always pees on himself.”

Needless to say, she had owned Andy for four years and he had never peed on himself, so she asked me to explain.

Every time Andy was finished peeing he would immediately use his two back legs to kick up the ground beneath his feet. Kind of like he was digging with his back paws. Debris (gravel, dirt, leaves, snow) would shoot up from his powerful kicks.

What the hell was he doing? Well, it was pretty obvious to me. He had peed on his feet and was trying to dry them off. Right?

WRONG!!

Keely (and then Google) set me straight. Apparently, the reason Andy is peeing on everything is to mark his territory. Yeah, I knew that. But the reason he is kicking dirt up after he urinates is to bury his scent.

He owns that rock he just peed on. Now it’s time to cover all traces that he’s been there so no other dog will claim it from him. Makes sense. I guess.

Now when it comes to doing a number 2, Andy is much more picky. He has to find the perfect place. Never on the road or other hard surfaces. It has to be soft. He prefers grass but I’ve seen him launch in a pile of leaves and in a snow bank.

And the instant Andy makes his deposit into the earth he bolts, and leaves the scene as fast as the can.

You’d think the smelly mess he just left was about to self destruct and he needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

Andy is in his own world when he walks. He doesn’t pay attention to other people, animals or cars. All he wants to do is sniff stuff and he aint gonna let nothing get in his way.

Which leads me to the only problem I have with him.

God forbid he picks up the scent of another animal. Not a dog or a cat but something a little less common. Something he rarely sees, like a raccoon or skunk.

Even if we are indoors and a racoon comes within the vicinity of the home, he freaks out, running around the house, whimpering, looking for some sort of escape.

I swear, if a squirrel farts outside Andy will hear it and freak out.

So on the days when we go for our walks and Andy picks up on one of those unfamiliar familiar scents he goes into a sort of frenzy. He runs in circles, trying to pick up the exact location of the animal. No matter how bad he has to go to the bathroom he wont stop until he no longer smells the animal or the scent leads to a dead-end.

Which makes me wonder, what the hell would Andy do if he actually caught up to one of these animals? I don’t think he’d know what do. I mean, this is the dog who barks at spiders but is terrified to do anything other than bark at them. In our house Andy is third in command, behind me and whatever insect may be in the vicinity at any given time.

So here I am blogging about my dog. I feel a little like one of those FACEBOOK moms who status updates every aspect of her child’s life: “Little Jane burped today…Little Johnny has a cold…..Little Mary is watching Dora….Little Jeffery is eating goldfish.”

Anyway, I digress.

Stay tuned for future updates on Andy the Puggle, including stories about his fear of water and his hatred of every brand of dog food I’ve ever put in front of him.

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