Archive for June, 2010

Once Again, The Facebook News

Posted in Stuff on June 29, 2010 by bigdaddygouda

Good Evening Everyone.

MIDDLETOWN – Apparently West Hartford reporter Justin Klokzko does not understand why pitchers are such horrible hitters,  arguing that they should be able to hit what they themselves dish out.

LITCHFIELD – In a move that could have serious ramifications when the school year begins anew in September, Colin Pratt is reporting that there are no more pencils and no more books. Whether or not the items were victims of budgetary cuts has yet to be determined.

FLORIDA – Nicole Tarullo is watching Intervention and she is crying. The waterworks allegedly began during the previews for Monday night’s episode. We can only hope she has a box of Kleenex handy.

CONNECTICUT – Kayte Handlewich Bendtzen will attempt to make it to bed early tonight. We wish her luck.

ROCKY HILL – Ashlie Dranginis has lost her cat as she is set to move back home to Litchfield tomorrow. The missing feline has reportedly been lost since Friday and while there are no suspects her one-eyed dog Tessa has been labeled a “person of interest.”

NEW BRITAIN – According to Amanda Stasonis the sun is shinning in the blue sky. We are asking readers to take her word for it as experts have stated looking up at the sun could cause severe damage to ones eyes.

FLORIDA – Stephanie Powell has made a salad for dinner along with a mulit-grain pizza. However Powell never actually ate the salad but a crisis was averted when Powell decided to work out following dinner.

CONNECTICUT – Reports out of Bethlehem indicate Krista Modine suffered a food-related injury after getting hot sauce in both eyes while biting into a buffalo chicken sandwich. Officials at the Franks Red Hot Company could not be reached for comment.

WASHINGTON DC – Those wondering when Leah Wu’s acute fashion sense began can rest easy. Wu herself confirmed through photographs Monday that it began at “a young age.”

LITCHFIELD – Reports coming from Meadow Street indicate Meridith Shafter has fallen into a deep depression since returning from Lake George. The source of this sadness has yet to be named, though unconfirmed sources indicate it has to do with her lack of a place to night swim.

BOSTON – Falling into the “No Duh” category, Jin Lee is reporting it’s warm out.

LITCHFIELD – Following in the footsteps of TS Elliot, Carrie Newton Copeland has decided to disturb the universe.

BREAKING NEWS:  After what was admittedly his best leg workout ever, things took a turn for the worse, according to Gordon Falcetti, who says his thighs are devastated.

NORTHFIELD – And finally, some sad news to report out of  Northfield. According to former college Professor Mike Dobos, “Nothing is ever good.” We can only hope, America, that Dobos is wrong.

So, that’s the Facebook news. To quote Russ Tanguay, “Good Night.’

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A Top 10 List….Memba those??

Posted in Stuff on June 22, 2010 by bigdaddygouda

When I checked my stats page today I was happy to find that a few people are still checking the old blog everyday. Not that there’s anything new to report but, it’s still there, hanging out in cyberspace…waiting for some lovin’.

Here are the top 10 reasons I don’t blog as much:

10. After five years of this shit I’ve said all there is to say.

9. How can I compete with all the exciting Facebook status updates?

8. It’s hard to write a blog when the dog is licking my toes.

7. Watching America’s Got Talent is a better way to spend my time.

6. I no longer feel comfortable writing in such an open forum. I mean, what if Mary Jo, the hot clerk from court, finds this blog and discovers what I’m really like.

5. After 5 years this blog has gotten sooooo popular that i’m finding myself uncomfortable with all the fame. I finally know how Kurt Cobain felt.

4. Blogs are so 2003!!

3. It comes down to one simple character flaw: I’m lazy.

2. I’m too depressed because Julia and KC no longer comment on my posts.

And….the NUMBER 1 reason I don’t blog as much:

How can I blog? My computer is in a pawn shop, i don’t have the cash to get it out of hock and I’m not desperate enough to blog on my Blackberry….or am I?

I used to have a blog once…

Posted in Stuff on June 7, 2010 by bigdaddygouda

I am the first person to admit that I don’t blog as much as I used to. Hey, if it were up to me I’d blog each and every day. Trouble is, my schedule.

I arrive home every night during the week between 7/730.  Then it’s time to walk the dog, feed myself, feed the dog, shower and finally, when I actually sit down, it’s usually 9 and the last thing I feel like doing is blogging. Yes, I would like some cheese with this wine, please. Gouda, natch.

So, lets take a moment and play catchup.

  • Keely had her third son. A boy named Oliver. He’s cute and really small. When I went to visit him, soon to be 3-year-old Grayson met me at the front door and asked, “Uncle Walt, are you here to play with me or the baby?” …..”What baby,” i replied before we busted into a “Yes Game or a No Game”.
  • Jamie and Jay returned to the land of parties with a groovy Memorial Day weekend picnic. A great return to form: Beerpong, whiffle, great food and tons of beer n booze.
  • The Summer Movie Season has been underwhelming.  A month into the season there have been no blockbusters (like last years transformers) or surprise hits (like last years the hangover). I actually read in the paper today that less people are going to the movies this summer than the last two years. Could 80s nostalgia revive a slow box office? Yep, A-Team movie and Karate Kid remake both open this weekend.
  • I’m entering the third week of the murder trial I’m covering at work and still no verdict. The jury has been deliberating since Thursday. Now it’s just annoying.
  • A man came to my house last week to buy my broken washer. He said he could fix-it up. As he was leaving, after paying me, he (seeing my yankees hat)  asked me if I knew why Mariano Rivera is the best closer of all time. I said, “Because of his nasty cutter.”…..”That’s  part of it,” the man said. “But the real reason he’s so good is because he put his career in the hand of Jesus Christ.”……My God, thanks to Craigslist there was now a Jesus Freak in my kitchen.

So that’ about it. Not much,  I know.

Road Race weekend is upon us soon. I can’t imagine for one second it will be as crazy as last year. Celebrating Phil’s 30th on Saturday night followed by Brian and Mere’s annual rager Sunday left me hung over for three days.

No one that I know of is turning 30 this Saturday and Bub and Mere have decided to take a year off from the party hosting duties,  so I anticipate this year will be a bit mellow-er.

Who knows. Maybe I’ll skip the weekend festivities and see an A-team/Karate Kid 80s double feature.

Must Remain Focus….You Fool!!!