Archive for November, 2010

Return of the Donut Girl

Posted in Stuff on November 19, 2010 by bigdaddygouda

They say all good stories have three parts, thus the Trilogy. Star Wars and Lord of the Rings come to mind. Now I’m not comparing my experiences with some local counter girl to two of the greatest stories of my generation…but I kind of am…I guess.

In the first story we met the Donut Girl. I told you about our meeting through Craigslist and eventual flirting at Dunkin Donuts. In the second story, after not seeing her in quite a while, we met again, continued to flirt, but ultimately…nothing.

This morning, for the first time in months, I went to Apple House for gas. Yep, I was up to 40 cents off a gallon thanks to Price Chopper Rewards and the tank was on empty.

Truth be told, I did not think of Donut Girl as I walked in. My mind was filled with work-related stuff.

 I entered the quick mart and glanced at the Dunkin Donuts area. She wasn’t there. Some nerdy girl in glasses flirted with some redneck. Everyone’s got their own Donut Girl I suppose.

I paid for my gas and bought a pack a smokes. I hadn’t planned to get a coffee but I could smell it in the air, and even though it was 50 degrees outside an ice coffee sounded pretty good.

I walked to the coffee counter ready to interact with the nerdy redneck lover. Alas, it was not meant to be. As I approached the counter, who should come walking in the building from outside but my donut girl.

“Walter!,” she said, a mixture of surprise and delight. “Where’ve you been.”

“You make me all hot honey and coming in here is not a good idea for either of us baby,” I said.

KIDDING!!!! Come on.

In reality I simply told the truth, about how I haven’t been drinking much coffee lately and, as she knew, Apple House is out the way from my apartment on Red Mountain Ave.

These all too brief encounters with Donut Girl never go anywhere and that’s my fault but I really just wasn’t in the mood today. I asked no questions of her and I kept my answers short. For the first time in our relationship  I was just a customer and she was just a clerk.

I paid for my coffee, over tipped and began to walk away. But she wasn’t going to let me off that easy.

“How’s your dad?” she asked as I walked toward the exit.

“You know my dad,” I asked, a bit confused..

“We all know Pete,” she responded with a smile.

Now, if she said, “We all know Porkchop,” I prolly would have got down on one knee.

Apparently, back when she worked at the East Main Street shop she noticed my dad and I in the coffee shop together back one day, unbenounced to me. 

 Yeah, it made sense, my dad has gone to that coffee shop every morning for the past 10 years. Of course they all knew him.

I could have just lied and gave the generic “Fine” when she asked, but for some reason I was truthful with her. I told her how dad recently had acid-reflux surgery and was recovering at home.

“Awww,” she said. “Tell him I said to get well.”

And, of course, she sounded like she really meant it.

Then it happened. I heard the words ringing through my head like some divine church bell. ‘We Should Go Out Some Time’. There they were, the words I was so afraid to say all these months, racing through my brain. They’d made it all the way to the tip of my tongue. All I had to do was open my mouth and they would come out. I was sure of it.

I opened my mouth. Donut Girl stood before me, only a counter separated us. She was smiling. I think I got the ‘W’ out when some wobbly old man stepped in front of me.

Donut Girl’s eyes darted toward him. She spoke instinctively, “Can I help you.”

He placed his order and a line began to form behind him. I glanced out the window as a car pulled up to the drive-thru window. Customers swarmed from all angles. My chance had passed. There was no way I was asking this girl out in front of a bunch of strangers. Especially not when she was trying to work.

I turned, and as I had done so many times before, I left Dunkin Donuts defeated.

However, this time as I left there was different feeling besides defeat. It was the feeling of Finality, if that makes sense. An aura came over me as I got into my car. A sense that a date with Donut Girl is just not meant to be. If something was supposed to happen it would have happened by now.

And that’s what I’ll keep telling myself….until I see her again.

Until the start of the next trilogy…


My Perfect Life

Posted in Stuff on November 2, 2010 by bigdaddygouda

“I have but one dream in life…To achieve my many goals.” Homer Simpson

I live in a modest house in a small town. Someplace like Litchfield or Harwinton. I have two kids, a boy named John after my grandfather but we call him Jack, after my mother, Jackie. I also have a daughter. Her name is Mikelina (mick-uh-leena) named after my great-grandmother. We call her Mickey, like the mouse.

My wife is 5-5. She is a brunette and she is wicked smart. She handles the finances because she enjoys that kind of stuff. She makes the house look nice by hanging up paintings that she does herself. She also maintains a small garden outback, because she likes that kind of stuff.

I don’t have a full time job because I won WIN FOR LIFE and I don’t feel like working. However, just to stay busy I put in a few hours each week at the movie theater. It’s really cool because I get to see movies for free. Thursday night’s are the best. After work, rather than come home, Im allowed the watch midnight showings of films due to come out on Friday. All employees are welcome to do so but most leave. I’m usually alone in the theater and I like it this way because it really is the only time I have to myself.

Being a rich lotto winner I’m allowed a few perks that would be otherwise unaffordable. I have season tickets to the Yankees. I host a weekly poker game at the house, usually attended by anywhere from 4 to 10 people, depending on whose wife will let them out that night.

Jamie is still the queen of Halloween while the Jewetts hold the annual Christmas Party. We usually travel for the Fourth of July but come new Years Eve I throw what is always refered to as “The Party of the Year.”  Sometimes I get a DJ, other times a party band to perform an acoustic set in the garage. Most years though I just make a mix cd.

Of course I still have Andy but we bought him a girlfriend, another Puggle named Alice.

This was supposed to be the year where I travel the globe with Tai, Joe and Jewett, using my wealth to gain us access into the word’s most prestigious setback games, held on all seven continents in Top Secret Locations.  But that will have to wait till next year at the earliest. My smoking hot wife is pregnant again….with twins.